Silly Sex Laws

There are some pretty silly laws about, especially when it comes to matters of sex.
You might expect such rules to be more extreme in countries like Afghanistan, but, religion plays a big part in places like Alabama, USA too!

And, religion and sex just don't mix (officially, anyway).

More often than not, churches see sex and nudity issues awkwardly, so, far from being natural and God-given, they become issues which would condemn us all to hellfire and damnation.

Little wonder then, that in areas of the world where religion plays a big part, the zealots and extremists seek to clamp down on what they irrationally view as the work of Satan himself!

Did you know, for example, that in the state of Alabama, USA, it's illegal to own a sex toy? Guns however, can be possessed without any problem. So, if you are visiting Funtimz from Alabama, don't be tempted to click onto the following link: www.funtimz.co.uk, where you will find an exciting range of sex toys designed to heighten your pleasure!

In fact, of all the US states and countries other than Afghanistan, Alabama has some of the most bizarre statutes. For example, a section of the obscenity statute of Alabama makes it unlawful to produce, distribute or otherwise sell sexual devices that are marketed primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs. Shooting guns at people is okay though, but pleasuring yourself or someone else, well!

Alabama regards these products as obscene, and also states that there is 'no fundamental right to purchase a product to use in pursuit of having an orgasm.'

The punishment for this "crime"? You can be fined and even jailed, even though these statutes go against the First, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States Constitution. Four Alabama women are currently challenging this law - go for it girls!

Also in the States, if you are a man living in Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for you to fire a gun when your female partner is having an orgasm! And in Willowdale, Oregon, it's illegal for a husband to curse during sex. Damn it!

In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day! But if your bride is wearing one of our sexy basques, why would you want to go hunting or fishing anyway?

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota - quite right too, disgusting! If his wife so requests, the law rules that he must brush his teeth.

And after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, a man isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you, or holding you in his arms. Not a problem if you have our perfect date doll beer holder! Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks or are gay you're safe from the law!)

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!

Owners of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, are required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts. But, if you're in for a little law-breaking in Hastings, Nebraska, how about wearing something much sexier than those dull nightshirts? Check out our babydolls in the Funtimz lingerie section.

An ordnance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer! Why would anyone want to make love in a freezer?

A state law in Illinois governs that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts, whilst in Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset, a Funtimz corset, of course! (though we call them basques).

In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." (Shame on you, Merryville!). Still, there are plenty of other sexy outfits you can legally wear in Merryville such as our Funtimz nurses uniform which is bound to send his temperature soaring!

And for anyone into dogging, it's quite safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate! Phew, that was a close shave!

In Helena, Montana, the law says that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she's wearing at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing, whilst lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. Ooops! You can always satisfy your lustful urges with Funtimz Toys.

In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

Women aren't allowed to wear patent leather footwear in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something 'he oughtn't!' Patent leather boots are okay though, so even women from Cleveland, Ohio are safe checking out our range of sexy footwear by clicking on this link.

No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed! Still, she could pretend to be a nurse with our fabulous nurse outfit!

Nudity laws are also either stripped-down or grossly over-dressed depending where you are in the world. Le Cap d'Agde in France is an entirely clothing-optional city (population 40,000), thousands of bare buns bake on beaches in Europe, Australia, and Canada and naturist joggers publicly flap and jiggle in San Francisco's annual Bay-To-Breakers footrace.

But more ominously, skin is a carnal crime elsewhere. It is a crime for college girls to be 'unveiled' in Algeria and Afghanistan and, in Iran, women are atcually flogged by "morality patrols" if their lovely hair slips wickedly out of their veils.

The freedoms women now take for granted in the UK, still don't apply in many countries. Afghanistan is not a pretty or permissive place. A woman recently had her thumb chopped off simply for wearing nail polish, and women can't walk on the street with men who aren't relatives. What's the fine? Nothing scanty - 100 public lashes if she's unmarried, a grisly rock-death if she's someone's shamed spouse.

So why is sex and sexuality often so frowned upon, not just in countries like Afghanistan, but in US states like Alabama? Usually, the answer lies in religion and the often contradicatory messages sent out by religious leaders without any philisophical basis or justification. After all, if God made us as sexual beings, then sex is surely part of that very creation approved by God. Sex is natural. Every human being is a sexual being and is entitled to sexual wellbeing.

Numerous medical and sociological studies have shown that sexual health and fulfillment has a major effect on mental and emotional health and wellbeing. Sexual repression, on the other hand, has a detrimentral effect on mental and emotional wellbeing. Many sex therapists advise both singles and couples to make use of sex toys such as vibrators, anal stimulators and dildos to enhance their partnerships and sexual health, and enhance orgasm for both parties.

As far as the fundamental right to purchase sex toys in order to have an orgasm, why is it that in Alabama, Viagra is legal and vibrators aren't? Some believe that the difference is Viagra is for men, and vibrators are generally aimed at women's pleasure, so the Alabama law-makers are effectively saying that women do not have the same fundamental right as men to purchase anything for the purpose of achieving an orgasm - a stance we and many others believe simply cannot be justified in these more enlightened times.

What some of these laws (not the really silly ones) also show is that our sexual freedom is never a given - we have to support it, and to do that - we have to support everyone's safe, sane and consensual freedoms. Never take it for granted, and never forget that someone else's delight is as important and valuable as your own.